Screaming Hits New High-Pitched Level

We're all used to high-pitched...well...pitches in the world of retail advertising. But the new Checkers Golden something or other promotion takes the art to new highs, or should that be lows.

A screeching female voice screams at us with no holds barred as she informs us of the latest bargains and the great prizes we can win. But, as we really don't enjoy this kind rapid-fire delivery abusing our ear drums from the radio our first reaction is to hit the volume control and turn her off!

Do the people who produce and buy this kind of advertising really think we'll listen? Do THEY listen?

I can just imagine the exchange in the studio:

Agency: Is that irritating enough? Or should we go for more screaming?
Client: Yeah, could we make it a bit louder? I don't think we've pushed the envelope far enough as far as the screeching is concerned. I'm really worried that people will not be irritated enough to turn off their radios.

Sheesh. PLEASE tone these ads down to a listenable level. And try using fewer words.

There's a thing in my TV...

And it speaks with a really irritating, gravelly, rasping voice that slurs as though it's spent too much time at the booze cabinet. It's supposed to be quite risqué when it says "There's a thing in my pocket..." but it doesn't keep the game going beyond that because then it goes straight into wanky, new age mumbo jumbo about how it communicates with the whole world and we can all touch it. Yes, there's a thing in my TV, but I wish there wasn't. It's the new Nokia commercial, this thing in my TV.

Oh yes...this is ME!

This blog takes it's name from an awful TV commercial that's been running for several months now on South African TV channels. The commercial features a pretty housewife extolling the virtues of Internet blogging. The woman, while pretty, has been given a pathetic script to work with so I can't blame her.

What she tells, while dropping margarine (from a dizzy height) into a mixing bowl is that she has just discovered the wonders of blogging. Even though she was "intimidated by the internet", "Mikey (presumably her son) set it up for me."

Now she's free to explore, create, play, and, when she sits back and looks at her words on the screen "it's like hey, that's ME!" The question that must be asked is: Has this woman never heard of pen and paper, or a typewriter, or a word processor, or anything else one can use to put one's thoughts "out there"?

Now what do you think this commercial could be advertising? Web hosting? Broadband? E-commerce?

Actually, it's none of those things. It's Stork products - margarine, cooking oil and stuff like that.

So irritating is this commercial that it actually inspired me to start "Mikey didn't do it". Uh-huh. I set this up myself. And my mission is to highlight the absolute WORST of South African advertising.

I want to celebrate the stupidity, banality, crassness, the sheer effrontery of those who inflict this rubbish on us, whether they be art directors or copywriters, client service dullards, or the clients who should be ashamed of themselves for buying the advertising they do and then actually paying good money to interrupt our programmes, clutter newspapers and magazines.

So stay tuned and pray that one your efforts doesn't show up here. I'm sure it won't because you're smarter than that, but at least we can all have a good laugh at the rest of the idiots!